He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
