these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
