I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
