fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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