i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
