I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Boobs are out for the taking
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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