apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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