This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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