I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
