I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
