im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
