No stitches, just platelets and will power
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize