WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
