return my video game
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
