2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
