We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
