Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
