need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
