pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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