I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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