Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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