Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
