How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
worst night to have a conscience
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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