"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
