Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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