I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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