i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wish you could order shots online.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Please don't give away my fajitas
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