I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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