fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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