And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
