dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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