You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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