I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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