His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
