Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
