i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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