Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook

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(850): View more from Florida

JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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(972): View more from Texas

some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.

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(607): View more from New York

Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Oh man

(248): View more from Michigan

I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.

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