I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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