We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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