what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I deserve this hangover.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
