Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Are we in a gay sports bar?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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