She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
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If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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