Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
