so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
