No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
