totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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