Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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