Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
