Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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