Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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