My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
