they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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