is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
