I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
