Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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