I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
