i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
