Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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